Thou
by Oliviax3
Summary: A series of drabble-bits centered around the characters and pairings of Host --Chap.12--What you can't have... Wanda and Mel...
1. You Are Her Sun

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Disclaimer: I do not own Host or its characters.

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****You Are Her Sun**

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_Sometimes our light goes out, but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light.-- Albert Schweitzer_

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He didn't notice him at first, or the way they walked together, their steps insync without even realizing it. All he saw was the food in his hands as he offered it to him, smiling warmly even if he didn't notice it.

Munching viciously, he heard Melanie.

"Jamie,"she said, looking up to the strange but warm man, "this is Jared."

He noticed it then; the way Jared looked at his sister.

Jamie swallowed roughly as Jared gripped his shoulder tightly with his large hand in his own hello. He caught a glimpse of Mel's worried expression, but it fled her features as Jamie smiled widely and said, "Hey! Do you have more food?"

Jared laughed, "You bet," and pulled a Twinkie from his pocket.

Scarfing it down, he saw Jared's fingers tentatively brush Melanie's arm like he was touching a fraglie piece of glass, so badly wanting to cradle it, but afraid that it might break. Jamie frowned slightly because Melanie was stronger than that, but she looked up at him and smiled. Her smile radiated more hope than he had probably ever seen come from her. For a moment, she looked like an exquisite piece of glass that was hit by a streak of light, casting momentary rainbows of colors. But this time, Jamie knew that the light was permanently placed.

"Thanks, Jared," he said, licking his fingers, although he thanked him for something other than the Twinkie.

And he noticed the way Melanie looked at Jared through glassy eyes.

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_(if you squint really hard, I think you can see some depth. I think. Squint!)_

_So! If you want an explanation for this, let's just say the plot bunnies grabbed hold of me and wouldn't let go. Small bunnies attack in numbers, small numbers, hence these drabbles!! This is my first time attempting something as short as this, so we'll all agree that this is practice for my microscopic writing skillz (almost as microscopic as this chapter and every one following it!). Lucky for you, since these are so small, I will be updating very very regularly. Very. So I hope that you enjoy these. I love drabbles because I think that it's so amazing that simple words can cause the most complicated feelings. _

_I have to practice some more, of course._

**Please Review!**


	2. Let You Fall? Never

Disclaimer: I own nothing, but I call dibs on Ian, I'll lure him in with guacamole (snort).

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****Let You Fall? Never.**

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_The way to love anything is to realize it may be lost. --G. K. Chesterton

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Sunny was small.

No.

Jodi was pretty short (_Kyle! if you call me short one more time, I swear to God_... etc.) but her spirit was so... flamboyant, so constant and always there.

So when he lost that-- her, he wasn't sure what he'd do. He always promised himself that he would protect her (_I don't need you to guard me, Kyle_) and go to no ends to do so, but why he left her (_I'll come back for you, promise_) he wasn't exactly sure of. He should have known that once he did go back, she would be gone.

As he looked at Sunny, sleeping in the crook of his arm, he wondered if it was enough. He went back for her, but he didn't bring Jodi back. It was sunny who laid curled in his arms so still that he wasn't sure if she was even breathing.

She was so small and sometimes, he wondered if she'd fall right through his grasp.

Never.

As if in reply, Sunny held tighter to his chest and buried her nose into the fabric of his shirt. She mumbled his name in her sleep (_Kyle_), sighing conently.

He'd hold on.

_**x.X.x.**_

_Oh yeah! Jackie, I am so there at that writing party!! I'll bring Guac if you bring the rice!! But nooooo! Screw school!! --_

_Another short. Sunny and Kyle!! are love. love. love. YAY! oh, uh the last title's chapter is all screwed up because of this stupid computer!! so I hope this chapter title is CENTERED DAMMIT!! -sigh- whatever. If not... then deal with it... I can care less!! I might update later today, I'm hopeless. I have some long oneshots in the works as well. Stupid fluff, really. _

**Please Review**


	3. To Be You

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Disclaimer: I do not own Host, and my guacamole failed to impress Ian.

Ian & Wanda

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****To Be You**

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_What we do flows from who we are. --Paul Vitale_

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Conciously, he looked for her as his feet moved, unconciously having memorized the patterns of the caves as they twisted and turned endlessly. Thinking of places where she could be, his ears were alert for any noises or voices that belonged to her.

There was nothing in his ears, only the monotonous hum of emptiness that lingered about him. Wondering where she had gone, he heard a noise... no, it couldn't be a noise, it was a sound.

A voice... a song.

The voice lilted lightly, but its undertone was heavy. He knew that voice and he would have walked faster, but his feet moved with the song, slowly and languidly. He began to question whether it was her voice or not, but when he saw her, raking the small garden with a sad smile on her lips as she sang, he knew it was hers.

He waited for her to finish and when she did, he said, "I didn't know you liked to sing." His voice was hardly audible, but she stopped abruptly and met his fierce gaze. Blushing, she wondered how long he had been listening.

"I..." She looked away for a brief moment, then back to him, "Pet was fond of it."

"Do _you_ like to sing?"

She felt her cheeks overflow with heat and she blinked. Sometimes she forgot... that Ian loved _her_. "I--yes, Pet has a nice voice to sing with."

"_You_ have a nice voice."

"Thank you," she whispered as he approached her. Each step he took squeezed her heart and the blood seemed to fly through her veins. She smiled at him, a bit dazed. "When I was a bat, singing was really the only way to... _be_."

"What about a human?"

"There are so many ways to be as a human...it still confuses me sometimes."

"You just have to be yourself, what's confusing?"

"It's_ how_ to be yourself, that's what is confusing to me. But it's not hard for me to sing, I like it."

"Me too."

"You do?"

"Will you sing again?"

Her cheeks flushed, and she sang for _him_.

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-phew- Sorry you guys had to hold out for so long because I know you all were just pining for I/W!! psh, it's been like... less than a day, so don't complain. lol. And I know its early, but I wanna thank the reviewers!! -hug- and all the silent readers who alerted this!! awesome! but sorry if your email gets all filled from this randomness... my goal (and it might come true at this rate) is to keep these drabbles at the top of the Host archive!! D Because there's like only 100 stories anyways... so It can't be that hard... XD.

omg! someone is ahead of me! must update!! and btw, updates will now take longer because if you haven't noticed or if you're a million miles across the earth, tomorrow is monday hence school. So... I'll try to be as fast as I can. No I must stop before my notes become longer than the actual piece! --sorry about the title--

Up next is M/J and I/W!!

**Please Review!**


	4. You Can Wait

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the creation of William James Howe Stryder

Mel/Jared & Ian/Wanda

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**You Can Wait**

_Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.  
Elizabeth Stone_

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He honestly had_ no_ idea how he got into this. Not one clue.

So out of the blue, Melanie comes by and thrusts a swaddled bundle into his arms with a ridiculously big smile on her face as if that would make up for everything he would be sacrificing for her--and this_ thing's_ own needs.

It was _so_ unfair. Why did he have to hold a screaming, drooling, teething, giggling... etc. while Melanie and Jared frolicked in the meadows with daisies, sushine and all that other crappy happy stuff. Why? Why did_ he_ have to babysit? As far as he knew, Wanda wasn't busy and neither was Ian... so--

Jamie made a face. If_ they_ were in that happy (crappy) meadow as well, he was sure he was going to puke.

The (demon) baby grabbed a fistful of Jamie's hair and pulled hard with his little, but strong hand._ Never_ underestimate the offspring of Mel and Jared.

"Will! Stop it! NO! Stop. It."

Will giggled as Ian walked in, laughing, "I bet you can't wait to have your own, right, Jamie?"

Will--William James Howe Stryder-- was eating his hair at this point. "Oh. No. I can wait, believe me, I can wait."

Ian continued to laugh, and Jamie watched him through the corner of his eye (Will was trying to suffocate his face) and saw him about to leave.

"Ian! Why can't you hold him? You love him, don't you? Melanie thinks you can hold babies better!! Please, Ian? Please?"

Ian gave him a sorry look, but it was impossible not to notice his eyes that were practically exploding with laughter. Jamie groaned and pried Will away from his face before he pulled every one of his eyelashes out. He began to cry and Jamie threw a glare at Ian like it was his fault.

"Sorry, Jamie. I'm busy."

Jamie's jaw accompanied his feet on the ground.

"_Busy?"_

Then he gave him the If-You-And-Wanda-Do-You-Know-What-Then-I'll-Kill-You look, because he wasn't quite sure that he could survive another screaming, teething, giggling, dirty, pooping, leaking baby in these caves.

Wll puked all over his head.

Again, he had no idea how he got into this.

**x.X.x.**

_urm, cuz of the reproductive system! Duh, Jamie!! lol. So, first day of the week (monday) and I survived -phew- ANYWAYS, Mel and Jared baby?? how was it?? I know that you know that everyone knows that's the way the sequels of the book are going to turn out. The earth would probably stop turning if someone didn't get preggers in SM's books, don't deny it. _

_--if you haven't finished Twilight series, close your eyes--_

_When I heard that Bella gets pregnant, I practically fell to the ground, dead. It wasn't surprise either, more like DISGUST!! I still didn't finish the book, but I know what happens and to me, the fact that bella was pregnant just semed like a desperate attempt to carry the plot forward. _

_I hope that Host doesn't end in that way, because it would suck if that was what it came down too and if you completely disagree, I completely understand and if you think that reneseme is the most adorable fictional thing in the world, I still love you. _

_Enough of my rants._

**Please Review**


	5. You Came First in Seventh Place

Disclaimer: I own nothing but these words.

Mel/Jared

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**You Came First in Seventh Place**

_It takes a lot of experience for a girl to kiss like a beginner_. Ladies Home Journal, _1948_

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She was fourteen and sweating. Her hair was plastered to the back of her neck, shining with a bronze glow. Her breathing was ragged but it was not from the race she had just completed.

He was fourteen and blushing. The red on his cheeks highlighted his faded freckles and contrasted against his yellow-blonde hair. He was nervous but it was not because he was up next to run.

Nervous breaths mingled, and fourteen year-old, naïve, inexperienced mouths brushed against each other until lips seemed to embrace.

But as soon as it began, it ended.

"Mawk an' Mel, sittin' in a twee, K-I-S-I-G!"

_Jamie_. Mark flushed fiercely, the blood pooling in his fair cheeks as he stuttered something she did not hear, and then ran away once the gun was fired.

Thinking back, Mark was her first kiss but there had been others. There were some she forgot, like the ones to make "him" jealous, the ones stolen in the dark hallways, the trivial ones that meant nothing but the touching of lips. The birthday kisses, the mistle-toe kisses, the new year's kisses...but there were some that warmed her from her toes up, the ones she actually remembered, like Mark's, and there were some that meant more than a holiday.

Melanie had her fair share of kisses...then Jared kissed her.

And thinking back, she counted that one as her first.

**x.X.x.**

_-hypervenalates- (?) did I spell that right?? Oh, who cares. 20 REVIEWS! omg, I never thought four measly chapters could get so many!! Sorry about the slow updates -blush- school... and I got cast in a play!! Metamorphoses... ring a bell? huh? huh? Anyways, I play several different parts (awesome!) and there's going to be WATER on stage!! how epic is that? -does happy dance- _

_Okay, I know my A/n caused some controversy, but I think it's awesome. Debates are fun, especially when they're about Twilight because I get all heated and go off on this tangent of sorts... I'm so insane... lol. I promise to update since it's the weekend! Maybe I can squeeze another three before sunday! _

_(If there's any mistakes in this, please tell so I can fix! ;D)_

_Up next is M/J and I/W!_

**Please Review**


	6. Your Heart Will Burn

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Ian/Wanda

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**Your Heart Will Burn**

_Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him._ Louis L'Armour

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"Kill it!"

He didn't know whose voice it was. Kyle's? Jared's?

His?

_Kill it_.

His hands grasped Melanie's neck. _No_. Not Melanie's neck. Melanie was dead. Gone. Jared had made that apparent. It was the parasite's neck.

_Parasite_.

It was nothing. If he killed it, it would mean nothing at all. He could see it in the near future, he could see her body falling to the ground, he could see Kyle and Jared breathlessly watching. He could almost feel Jared's relief at seeing the lifeless from that used to be Melanie, dead on the ground, her neck marked with his own hands.

There was no hesitation, only hate. It would be easy, he could do it. It was only moments away. All his hands had to do was constrict, tighten, coil, **_kill_**.

Metallic alien eyes widened and for the briefest of moments he wondered if her eyes would be open or closed when she died.

_She._

He would have continued, resumed, killed. But he didn't. He could have done it, that he knew. His hands could have locked around her neck for a moment too long, he could have watched her fall. He could have seen the marks on her neck, the evidence that he had taken her life.

He _would _have.

But didn't.

And everytime he touched her, he thought of how easy it could have been to end her. How close he was to letting her go and watching her fall. How_ he_ could have been the one to close her eyes.

Forever.

He suffered in those thoughts.

**x.X.x.**

_Angst. Me love. Thanks so much for the reviews for the last chapter! lol. Up next is some fluff, promise. Jamie gets to bake. me loooove._

**Please Review**


	7. You're The Best

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Disclaimer: I do not own Host

Ian/Wanda & Mel/Jared

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**You're The Best**

_Love is homemade_

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Jamie wasn't too good at lying, so naturally, he wasn't too good at getting away with things. Raiding was difficult for him, but he could do it--lie--if his life depended on it. He wasn't too great at soccer either so he usually stayed behind for the games because his sci-fi books entertained him enough.

But Jamie had a secret skill... he could bake a _mean_ blueberry pie.

So for his birthday, he wanted to make one. Kyle laughed because raiding for pie ingredients was ridiculous, but when you have a team of Mel, Jared, Ian and Wanda behind you, who would say no? Especially to a pie made from Jamie's loving and adorable hands that were turning one year older.

It was epic. Magnificent. "It will go down in history as the best pie ever!" Jeb said with a stained tongue. Melanie sent a smile his way, beaming with pride as she nibbled at the blue remains from her fingers which Jared decided to do himself, and who could blame him?

It was, afterall, the best pie ever.

Wanda hugged him tightly, her slender arms squeezing his small frame as she gushed on and on about how talanted he was while she licked the blue from her lips (Ian dove in for that, too).

Kyle mumbled something or other of how it was, "Okay, I guess", and Sunny smiled timidly, blue stuck in between her teeth as she held tightly to Kyle's hand while the other held an empty (devoured) plate.

Jamie sighed, blue is love.

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_Blueberries are love. Eat 'em. I couldn't help updating... because tomorrow is school. -dies- See you next weekend! Hopefully Tuesday!  
_

**Please Review!**


	8. Keeping You Close

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Disclaimer: Me no own. You no sue.

Kyle/Sunny

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**Keeping You Close**

_Put your ear down close to your soul and listen hard_-- Anne Sexton

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She was all he remembered. Her smile was all he saw. Her voice was all he heard.

Sunny was moving through moonbeams, slowly and gracefully. Her smile made the silver light dim by comparison as it filtered through the cracks in the dirt walls. Her voice was softer than the weight of the rays that rested across his shoulders, fleeting but pure.

"Kyle," she whispered and he blinked, "What would happen if... I found Jodi."

The moonbeams subsided, her smile disappeared, and her voice was heavy. A needle of pain penetrated his chest, his hands clenching under the large mass his heart became. Sunny took small steps away in fear (from his answer) but he laid his hand on her slight shoulder to keep her close.

The words were tense as he spoke through his teeth, "Did you?"

She began to cry soundlessly, liquid silver drops falling down her cheeks but he did not notice. Instead, his hand tightened on her shoulder in anticipation of her answer.

"I...no...not yet, but..."

But what would happen if she did?

Would he simply transfer her into a new body or send her away? Would he _throw_ her away and forget about her?

She saw the answer in his eyes, and she promised herself that no matter what the future held, no matter the outcome, he would be all that she knew, all that she loved,

and all that she remembered.

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_Listen Kyle! Listen to your heart!! -cries- lol. The first line has some mystery -que eerie music-- because what if he was talking about Jodi?? Or sunny? _

_I had always wondered what would happen if Sunny found Jodi and how Kyle would handle it. Maybe, well, hopefully that'll be explored in the sequels and maybe there will be some relationship development. Anyways! I updated and it's tuesday!! As hoped for. -sigh- I think I'm going to faint from all the reviews. Seriously, your reviews have made my day (s) and I can only hope that these bring some kind of fulfillment to you as well...! _

**Please Review!**


	9. Your Guardian's Way

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Disclaimer: Me no own.

Mel/Jared (and if you have x-ray vision there's J/W)

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**Your Guardian's Way  
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_Chaos and Order are not enemies, only opposites._ --Richard Garriott

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In the midst of chaos, everything was at ease. Dust settled, whispers reached the shells of ears, and breaths were drawn then released. Then, one whisper reached the shell of one ear and chaos ensued.

"Jared, please, she might still be alive!"

He said nothing, but Jamie could feel the atmosphere freeze with Jared's silence. He could hear Melanie's desperation in her voice.

She left two mornings after, and she did not say goodbye, because she was convinced she would return. Jamie's youthful eyelids were closed and Jared's never seemed to blink after she left.

Dust settled, but there were no whispers. It was a stilled chaos, following Jared in a cloud and tormenting him from within. Everything in that cloud shattered and all Jamie heard for a while was splintering glass, muffled and choked desperation, and silence.

The silence hurt the most. Jamie vaguely existed to Jared; he was only an obscured image through the cloud of turmoil. Then, sometimes in the still but raging darkness, he heard him—Jared—screaming.

Then he would mutter her name. _Melanie_. And how she wouldn't come back.

For a long while, Jamie had nightmares. So vivid and so real, he cried in terror. Jared was always the one to put a hand to his head and say warmly, "Jamie, it's not real, wake up."

Jamie tried to wake up. He tried, but he couldn't. He saw the girl that looked like Melanie, and thought that it was her. It was one of the most lifting moments in his life, but he didn't understand why Jared was so angry until he realized_ this_ was Jared's nightmare: vivid silver eyes in the face of Mel.

Why, Jamie thought, didn't it hurt Jared to see this soul suffer? Why, Jamie thought, did he want to kill this being?

_Why. _

And how could he bring himself to strike what was once Melanie, once someone that he loved, across the face. How could he watch her fall?

_How._

Then, Jamie knew. Jared was going to destroy her, break her like glass. It would not clear the cloud, but maybe it would clear his conscience.

Dust and dirt settled, but there were no whispers. Cries and nightmares filled the void of silence.

Jared, _please_, she might still be alive.

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_so. Yes. It has been a while, hasn't it. -whistle- sorry, but I have to thank everyone who's ever read this and for putting up with this. Thanks so much! Btw, if you're wondering about the J/W thing, the quote kind of explains it... kinda. not really. Just forget it. _

**Please Review!**


	10. Threaded Through You

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**Threaded Through You**

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The night I went back was slow and languid like the decent of a vulture on it's prey, making wide pressing circles as acrid, translucent smoke of death rises from the center.

I shouldn't have gone back to retrieve what was lost to me forever.

But I did, and now I find myself in a web that I weaved, a web that entangled she and I. Or maybe it wasn't a web, maybe it is my arms, clasping her to me.

It is cold.

She shivers. Soon I will lose what I had found.

The moon exhales slowly, its breath sewing itself into our skin.

The needle burns. I cannot think.

The wind takes my thoughts away, thankfully. Thoughts that would add weight to my shoulders.

She weighs almost nothing, but everything at the same time.

I don't know how long I'll have to keep walking. I don't know where I am going. I feel like I am making wide pressing circles, going nowhere.

Blood is caked on her face. It stains her...

Who knew a desert could be so.... cold.

The sun has disappeared.

I would be a fool to let go, so I keep walking.

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**Please Review!**


	11. Unraveling You

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**Unraveling You  
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_This world can no longer bear us.  
_

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"Wanderer."

Her diaphanous eyes glistened in the gentle crepuscular light that sharpened the shadows in the crevices of her tender features. The darkness began to lurk around them, dripping from their entangled limbs, creating shadows on the bleached white walls that encased them.

Light was rare in the caves, but in the open, in the world they were forced to escape, light seemed to only prove the passing of time. Orange light only painted the purple under Ian's eyes, and the sadness in hers. Blood was being shed as the sun died in a pool of red radiance, and it would not be long until the light would dim.

This would be their last night together.

"I love you."

Then, slowly and knowingly, they began to peel away the layers that separated them. Shadows stretched, red waned, the moon rose, and two worlds became one.

Their eyes closed.

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	12. What You Can't Have

Long overdue.

Me no own.

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_Love makes us human. Courage makes us extraordinary_ - Faryal Khan Kharal

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**What You Can't Have **

The war had begun with a presence in the right corner of her brain and her resolve to erase it from the confines of her mind. It occupied her space, her sense of being, her new home that she would not let go of so quickly

She was a soul that had battled stronger, lived longer and knew more than this insignificant human had ever dreamed of. Centuries of wandering taught her how to survive, how to endure in places that never truly accepted her or that she never truly accepted. When she wandered, she did so for a purpose, but after some time, things seemed aimless.

What was she living for? What did she have to live for? A home, she told herself, just a home. Somewhere where she could stay and feel comfortable within herself.

But sometimes, she felt like she was looking for something she couldn't name. But she pushed the uncanny feeling into the depths of her mind and wandered.

She liked this new body, but she caught herself giving into it too many times. Giving into the way it liked to move, to feel... she fought these urges. She wanted to walk and run in her own way, this body was only to demonstrate it; it meant nothing more.

Wanderer kept driving, hands shaking on the steering wheel, eyes clouded from confusion and many things she couldn't name. It was then—in that very moment—that she shakily closed her lids,

and gave in to Melanie, the memories, herself, or the pain of wanting something she couldn't have (_Jared, Jamie_).

But when her eyes opened, she felt a surge of warmth spread through her, the comfort of the warmth eased her ragged breaths until she realized that it was not hers.

Did she lose? Did Melanie win? Wanderer tried to conceal these thoughts of defeat, but to no avail. Melanie seemed to relish her demise.

She looked at herself—Melanie's face—through the rearview mirror. Silver eyes, in a tan face stared back. They were both watching as Wanderer slowly, twisted Melanie's lips into a small, quaking smile.

They both won, they would both get Jared and Jamie. Warmth coursed through her veins, pumping in her heart, itching beneath her skin. Melanie confined herself to the depths of her mind until she became nothing but a mere shadow, darkly scheming.

Wanderer smiled again.


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